Dangers virtual, teenagers vs. parents, a different view ( Translated by Siren)

Versión en castellano aqui

I usually have to talk about ciber-cultures, urbans tribes, etc, everything related to the internet tecnology, and is very common to find that my work reaches young people.

This post has the intention to reach teenagers, as well as parents and friends, as for some recent family experiences and the daily news , I decided to write no an instructions manual, neither a psicological análisys, but my opinión and suggestions about a very hard topic that is about the safety of our children and, why not, ourselves.

There are millions of things to be aware in the Internet , it will be a waste of time to mention them one by one not to mention to add more drama to the topic. I don’t want to describe each tribe, or say which one is better than the other, but this time I am trying that my writes reach the teenager group, which are vulnerable for the followings reasons:

1) Their knowledge of the Internet is limited.

2) They are new in the Internet and they don’t know or have a right cyber behaviour.

3) They don’t belong to a afinity group, or tribe.

4)Their parents o guardians have little or nothing of knowledge of the Internet

5) He or she is alone from his group of friends.

6) He or she is looking for friendship and it doesnt’t care about who is the other person or the intentions of the other person.

7)He or she doesn’t have a natural social relation and not control over them in real life.

• They have a superficial relationship in the Internet , which they believe can control each topic.

The persons with the caracteristics described aboved, are vulnerable to be target from people or groups of peoples with differents bad aims as well as ilegal in some cases, and which can evolve in abuse in some cases as kidnape as well.

Teenagers have some conflictive behaviours as natural, some of them can be dangerous, no to mention the rebeld part and the lack of knowledge in life.

As I think the teenager has the hardware of an adult, but still has to fill his notepad of life with more lines, I don’t mean by this they are not smart, but the problem is related to their excess of confident to control situations, even more in the Internet where he can be impersonate in some way.

As I said for this group there is a risk group which I have descibed it before.

I can imagine that you as a parent might ask if your son is or not in a risk group. As an adviser and as a parent too, I could tell that anyone could be in a risk group, but maybe I am overreacting. I also can imagine that someone might say that my son belongs to one or other urban tribe or he wears make up or hears weird music, or his friends looks like coming from outspace, or even that one of your son’s friends did some crazy ilegal thing. For all exposed above I only can say pacience, tolerance, be aware and a talk with your son will help, above all to open clearly some behaviors.

I could tell the worst risk are with those who are too quiet, that his activities are not known or friends, his tastes or preferences, or even worst if he shows up with a new cell phone or a motorcycle.

I am going to add some advices or suggestions for parents and teenagers, and of course everyone is open to discuss them and to add new comments.

Advices for parents

1) It is better for them to be in the Internet at home that somewhere else.

2) If you are checking him(her) try to do it without them be aware of it.

3) Remember when the privacy of a teenager is violated, is like he will be closer to talk with you ( Privacy=sacred)

4) Try not to overreact, ( try only) but it might be good to show him the news related.

5) Try to negociate, that means all the parts win in some way, if you don’t see a exit door to the problema, ask him for his point of view to resolve the matter.

6) If you don’t have enough knowledge about a topic and express the wrong answer about it you will loose confident before your son, is better to do a research about the topic to help you to understand it. In a few words, do not conden something if you don’t know about it. After knowing more you can compare with the explanation of your son.

7) Basically, to understand your child means to do many things imitating him, you must know there are thing that are not correct to do as an adult, so follow your good sence y establish an autolimit.

• Do not humiliate your child, and never in front of his friends, if you have something to say to him, make it in prívate. ( this is in every aspect of life, not only about the topic I am writting for)

9) Try to have a proyect together that can discuss while camping or fishing for example, but in a wi-fi area, of course.

10) Teach your child that to have a chat is not dangerous if he doesn’t give personal information, as school, address, pictures, or videos.

11) Meet the people who your son is related, over all those your son talks frecuently, that will help you to be accepted inside your son’s community of friends and also for you to know the other person.

12) You must understand that a teenager knows what is good and what is wrong, but thinks that the valuation of dangers are overreacted for himself and that he can control any situation.

13)Never punish your son by disconecting the internet or taking the pc out from him.

14) Try that the desk of your son is out of his bedroom. As well as yours, find a place where he can have some privacy but can be controled too.

15)At last but not least important, don’t let your son’s friends change him into an otaki, dark emo o any other .

Advices for teenagers:

1) If a new contact ask for your real first and last name, don’t answer, ask who is contacting you, where does this person know you. If he or she doesn’t give a straight answer or is evasive close the conection with this person right away.

2) It doesn’t matter if he or she is a contact of one of your friends, check first that is in your same age or close

3) If there is going to be a date in rl, try it with your group of friends, never go alone.

4)Never should say your real personal information, this is never justified.

5) Be carefull with the pictures you download to any blog.

6) Don’t let that your boy(girl)friend, or friends take a video from you and download it into the Internet without your approval, it is a felony in many countries.

7) Don’t let anybody take videos of you naked.

• Learn how to answer to questions like what is your real name or telephone number in just a sentence IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

9) If someone offer you something, be aware he or she is going to ask you something too, be carefull and reject everything, even if it is something you will never get, because you will loose much more for sure.

10) Even if your parents or guardians don’t understand you, try to communicate with them, is hard sometimes but is convinient, and they are going to feel you are mature too if you do so.

11) Everytime you go out tell someone you know about your activities, even if your activity is approved or rejected, this one is more an advice for all the topics,

12) If you know about a friend with a dangerous behaviour, talk to him but be aware that his(her) parents should need be inform.

13) If a risk behavour of a friend cause rejection be aware, your autosurvival is still working, pay attention to it and go far form the situation.

14) Don’t try to resolve problems that only a profesional or an authority should do.

15) Make your parents aware of your contacts.

16) If a contact doesn’t want to contact your parents or doesn’t want you to talk about him(her) ,be careful.

15) It is smarter and safer not to be confident than be confident.

16) At last, try to enjoy life, no suffer about it, don’t overreact, but we aware.

I don’t pretend to safe the world with this post, but I pretend to aware parents and teenagers. Everybody is open to add his(her) comment, even there is a generation wall, lets try that it doesn’t take us appart. I hope that both (parents and teenagers) use this space to express themselves.

Regards,

SkyNet Silverstar

Hoy parado aquí, solo siento que mi soledad se une a toda mi existencia, aunque trato de alejarla, es inútil, el perderte en la eternidad de los tiempos, dejo un sabor amargo en mi alma, tal vez en esta existencia, mi viaje tenga un destino, pero solo tal vez, aunque no sepa que rostro tienes, se que estas ahí, oculta entre los velos del tiempo, que cruelmente tapa mi visión.
Muchas veces creo tenerte cerca, pero solo son imitaciones, por que algo que nos distingue es que no importa donde o con quienes estemos, el uno al otro se necesita de una forma sobrenatural, algo que ningún mortal podría comprender.
Se que en algún momento nos cruzaremos, y tal ves no nos reconozcamos directamente, por miedo a perder las esperanzas de nuevo, por desconfianza de tener un espejismo… por tantas razones que no podría describir acá. Lo único que pido, es que me perdones al igual que te perdono a ti, por que hasta que llegue el momento de que la bruma desaparezca de nuestras almas, sea iluminada por la luz, disipando todo tipo de miedos y temores, estaremos observándonos, analizando si un espejismo nos traiciona nuevamente.
Lo único que deseo en estos momentos es que en esta existencia, pueda reencontrarme contigo, comprenderemos que otras almas no entiendan nuestro trato familiar, nuestra felicidad al vernos, por que desconocen que desde mucho antes de nacer nos conocemos y nos amamos, aunque creo que nadie en el mundo pueda pasar por alto nuestro encuentro, por que la energía liberada por nuestro encuentro iluminaría cada rincón de nuestro pequeño universo, sin dejar sombras.
Comprendo que estos pensamientos tal vez tarden cientos o miles de años en llegar a tus manos, entiende que le tiempo es solo un espejismo que el destino pone como trampa mortal a nuestro amor.

Tantos lugares y vidas pasé, seguiré viajando por la eternidad, hasta donde tu te encuentres y estas palabras toquen tus ojos o susurren tu oído lo que me esta pasando, te pido que confíes que estoy cerca tuyo.

Video de Etnia, la historia, espero les guste.

Introduction

In a possible future, the humanity lives through a new age, where the past is not known completely, and tries only fun, many ancient worries do not exist. Only some tiny organizations wish explore the deep space, and go to inhabit new worlds, The ground turns out to be very different, the big cities do not exist, only small islands where any inhabitants concentrate.

The iron will of the leaders, is that the living society without worries or problems, and for this motive they are jealous of not showing the past of the humanity.

Introducción

En un futuro posible, la humanidad vive una nueva era, donde se desconoce por completo el pasado, e intenta por todos los medios solo diversión, muchas preocupaciones de antaño ya no existen.

Solo algunas pequeñas organizaciones desean explorar el profundo espacio, y habitar nuevos mundos, La tierra se ve muy diferente, las grandes ciudades ya no existen, solo pequeñas islas donde se concentran algunos habitantes.

La voluntad férrea de los lideres, es que la sociedad viva sin preocupaciones ni problemas, y para ese motivo son celosos de no mostrar el pasado de la humanidad.